Chris Ramsey calling out Katie Hopkins for her views on fat people.
May you have enough money to pay your bills this month with a little extra left over for a bit of fun.
This is one of the nicest things to wish for someone
just found my new phone case
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted an HTC and a matching case so much.
gangnam style came on the radio again
this sounds like a post apocalyptic diary entry
"enjoy high school, you’re going to miss it when it’s over" nah tho
next time you’re washing your hands next to somebody cup your hands under the tap until the water overflows then look at them dramatically and say ‘this water is getting out of hand’ it’s a guaranteed way to make friends i have never tried it but it is guaranteed
I LOVE SHARKS!!!!!!!!
I lost it at 0:21
lost it at 0:37
when ur running down the stairs with no bra on
please no halloween posts just yet. there’s still 2 months left
did someone say halloween
nicki keepin an eye out
before mum left for work she handed me this lemon and told me to make sure it doesn’t cause any mischief while she is out. i am to groom him twice a day and feed him every 3 hours. then we shall play boggle and i’ll let him win out of pity. he’ll notice the sparkle in my eyes and fall in love with me. i will be mesmerised by his beautiful zesty scent and fall in love with him. at the end of the day i will get down on one knee and confess my undying love for him and ask him for his hand in marriage. we are to be wed on the ides of april. our honeymoon will be wild and carnal.
i shall fall pregnant and 9 months later will give birth to a beautiful lemon daughter. i will name her clarissa. throughout her teen years she will face many challenges. no one will want to date her because she is a lemon. no one will invite her to their sweet 16 because she is a lemon. no girl wants to change in front of her in the PE change rooms because she is a lemon.
clarissa will eventually lose her fucking lemon mind and jump into a blender. i will be devastated by this. i will cry many tears. then, my lemon husband will leave me out of confusion and grief. he’ll find some foreign woman here on a visitor’s visa and fuck her brains out. he’ll then realise that the only human woman who has ever satisfied his citrus seeds is me, and he will come back to me. i will make him work to earn my respect again. we will make sweet sweet love under the orange tree in my backyard. he’ll tell me he loves me and i’ll tell him i love him, and then we’ll grow old together and sit on the porch every morning, watching the sun rise.what
i just read lemon fan fiction